Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
