Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
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My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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