See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
