carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
