theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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