I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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