I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
