he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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