so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize