Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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