he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
