Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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