Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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