If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
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i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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