I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
