I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
