Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
