i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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