A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
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There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
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Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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