cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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