i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
