I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize