The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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