She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
