Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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