We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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