i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
so much tequila, so little girl.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
