I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
