I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
