You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
