What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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