So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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