He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
