I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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