Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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