The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
