A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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