Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
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I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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