im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
