So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
