I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
