now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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