After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
As shirtless as possible
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
