we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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