I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
