Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
