Me. At least after what I've been through.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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