She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have tasted many bathrooms
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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