Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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