The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
