I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
