there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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