Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
