Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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