bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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