I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
