You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
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Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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