You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
