She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
