I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
