I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
