Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
