I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
