Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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